Before I was a mom, I thought I would be one of those “perfect” mothers that would have everything on lockdown. I would know exactly what needed to be done and it would be done before anyone could ever think about questioning it.
I was super smart and I couldn’t understand why some of these mothers could get it so wrong.
You might be thinking, this woman is crazy, who does she think she is but look at it from this perspective.
Before I was a mom, I slept as many hours as I needed. I would put something down and it would still be in that exact same spot the next day.
I could take my time to get ready and never have to rush because I would always be organized. I could account for most things before they happened so not much was a surprise.
Sleep can make all the difference to a person. It gives you the confidence and the ability to think rationally.
When I look back at who I was all those years ago and who I am today 4 children later, life is very different. All the things I thought back then were an absolute joke!
These are the 8 top things that it’s easy to think before you become a mom.
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8 things I told myself before I was a mom
1. Dinner will always be ready on time and it will be healthy
As a mom, it’s so easy to get swept up in your day. One moment its 9 am the next its 5 pm and you haven’t even thought about dinner yet.
We’ve all been there before. Don’t lie now!
Some times no matter how hard you try you just can’t get all your children to eat the same thing let alone it be healthy.
All of my children eat slightly differently.
I have one that loves, vegetables, another that can tolerate some but not all veg and another that behaves as though he’s going to vomit if you put a vegetable on his plate.
As much as I want all of my children to eat healthy home-cooked meals. I can’t force them. I can certainly put the options in front of them but I can’t literally force them to eat it.
You might be faced with the same problem. Just know that you are not alone. Sometimes we can’t achieve what we want no matter how hard we try.
Your children are individuals and you can’t force anything.
I’m all for making sure a healthy option is always available but in reality, you can’t force-feed.
2. My children will attend as many school activities as they want
I used to picture myself as one of those moms that would always be at the school supporting my child at every event no matter what it was.
If my child wanted to do music, we would be doing music, if they wanted to do football we would do football and swimming and drama and ballet and basketball and…everything else.
Honestly, I feel so dumb even as I write this because it’s just not possible to do all the things.
For starters, time is a factor. There are only so many hours in the day so the chances are that you will not be able to get to every event.
Not only that but the more children that you have the more things that your children will want to do individually.
You are only one person and can’t be everywhere at once.
The most healthy thing that I have found is to allow my children to pick one activity that they really want to do and that’s it.
If you only have one child then there may be more room for more than one activity but when you have multiple children this becomes much harder.
I allow my children to pick one activity that they must stick with for the whole term and that’s it. If at the end of the term they no longer like it then they can switch.
I think doing things this way also gives your child some self-discipline to see things through and to have focus.
3. I will never allow my children to have a tantrum in public
When you see a child having a full-on melt down in public it can be hard to know where to look.
It’s embarrassing for mom and for the child. At least that’s what I used to think.
You see before I was a mom, I thought that I would be able to control such things. I would never allow my children to throw a tantrum in the middle of a shopping mall just because they were demanded something.
I know better now. You can’t really avoid these things.
The only thing you can do when something like this happens is to remain calm yourself.
If you look like you can’t manage your child they will see the weakness and play to it more.
I have found it better to be cool calm and collected.
It has happened to every mom at some point and time so so don’t stress about it. Wait for the tantrum to be over then move on with your day.
4. My children will have fresh ironed clothes every day
I want my children to have really well ironed clothes to wear every day. So much so that you can see the iron creases.
It was a nice dream, to say the least, but what I found was that no matter how hard I tried I just could not stay on top of the ironing.
I found that I was literally grabbing things that either didn’t need to be ironed or that required minimal ironing.
In fact, I tend to iron as we wear clothes rather than finding a time during the week to get all of the ironing done in one sitting.
If you can’t seem to find a time in your day where you can get all of your ironing done in one sitting don’t beat yourself up about it. Do what you can and then move on!
5. I will never give my children junk food
There have been days where I just can’t muster up the strength to cook. Either that or I don’t feel inspired. It’s in those days where I feel the weakest and will usually lean towards junk food.
I’m not a very big McDonald’s fan so we don’t tend to go for that but pizzas and fish and chips are usually good.
Although I don’t want to allow my children to eat junk food sometimes you just do.
There is nothing wrong with that occasionally.
You can either limit the number of times that you eat junk food or restrict it to certain types of junk food or takeaways.
Just because it is junk food does not mean that it has to be bottom of the barrel junk food.
6. I won’t allow my children to watch tv all day
I really believed in this one. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with occasionally leaving your child in front of the tv as long as it is age-appropriate BUT I don’t agree with doing it all the time.
I thought that I would be one of these parents where I would restrict tv to 1 hour a day. Nope, that did not work for me.
As my motherhood journey developed I discovered that that was not going to work for me.
Sometimes you need to get dinner done and that can be hard to do with little ones tugging at your legs so I found it easier if I put the tv on as a distraction.
It worked. Sometimes you need to give your child a distraction so that you can get something important done.
Sometimes there just has to be a trade-off.
If that’s the case don’t beat yourself up about it.
7. I will never raise my voice at my children
This was my honest intention. I mean it’s easy to say something so stupid when you have had a full night’s sleep and not suffering from sleep deprivation whilst having a newborn.
Sometimes no matter how well-meaning you are you just can’t keep to some things.
Try being tired and having 2 little ones say mom mom mom for the 1050th time and see if you don’t get to the point where you have had enough.
I need to be clear here. I don’t condone full-on yelling at your children but in reality, sometimes we can snap for many different reasons.
If you are not one of these people then more power to you.
But for those of us that live in the real world, it does happen, sometimes we lose our temper and shout.
It’s not necessarily the shouting that is the problem its what happens next. Do you apologize to your child? Do you make it up to them somehow?
That is where it makes all the difference to you and your child’s relationship.
8. The house will always be immaculate
Housework! My favorite thing ever said no mom anywhere.
One thing I have realized is that housework is a never-ending job. No matter how many times you do it it will never be finished.
If you have one child you might just be able to stay on top of some of it but the moment you introduce another child you are pretty much done for. Haha!
Children can get up to all sorts of things, you tidy up one room only to find they have made a mess in another one. You can’t avoid it. They are children and they are always looking for things to do and new ways of discovering.
I used to stress about this so much before but not anymore.
The way I see it now is that if you are coming to my house unannounced or even announced sometimes there will be some mess because I have children.
My youngest likes to pull out all of his toys and likes to play with them as and when he feels. I can limit some of that but I refused to keep all of his toys locked up on the off chance that I get a visitor.
I do what I can as far as housework goes but I can’t do it all.
if you are feeling that you are sinking in housework, you are not alone we all struggle. You are the same as every other mom out there.
Final thoughts on life before I was a mom
Motherhood is a funny old journey, you might think that you have everything all figured out or that you will have figured out before you become a mom but I can tell you now that being a mom can be a shock to the system.
You need to give yourself and break and realize that you can’t do everything and that you are not perfect.
Having a good relationship with your children is much more important than stressing over silly little things.
Your motherhood journey has to be flexible in order for it to work.
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