The stay at home mom (SAHM) is quite often misunderstood.
There are a lot of misconceptions that tend to fly around concerning what the SAHM does all day long.
Being a stay at home mom myself I could probably write a thesis on this subject but I won’t bore you for that long!
In the interest of fairness to those that perhaps don’t understand those of us that are stay at home moms, I will say that I was probably like you at some point.
I used to think that stay at home moms could have all the fun without any responsibility.
– Coffee with friends
– Read a book
– Take long baths
– Dance around the house all day long.
I was wrong.
Without saying too much right now, let’s take a look at some of these misconceptions and break them down.
Common misconceptions of the stay at home mom
1. Stay at home moms get to do want they want all day long
I really, really, really wish this was true! Life would be so much easier for me if it was.
I could laze around all day long, channel hopping and eating what I wanted when I wanted.
Life would be great this way.
Unfortunately, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I have 4 little people who all want equal parts of me.
If I chose to eat ice cream, I have to split it 5 ways first.
The truth is that I rarely get any time to myself unless the children are asleep. That only happens at bedtime.
Before you start thinking “but what about when they all go to school?”
Remember that I homeschool all my children so they are literally with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
2. Your home must be as clean as a whistle
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
The fact that I am home all day with the children means that I am in a constant battle of either telling them to tidy up after themselves or I am tidying up.
It doesn’t stop.
I could be so bold as to probably say that your house is probably more likely to be tidier than mine for this very reason.
3. Stay at home moms are likely uneducated
This one really makes me laugh.
Some people think that because you choose to be a stay at home mom you must be uneducated in some way.
I mean..who would choose to be a stay at home mom if they could choose to have a career instead?
The truth of the matter is that while we do choose to be stay at home moms. It is just that, a choice.
It’s a sacrificial choice that we make usually for the benefit of our children.
A lot of moms put their careers on hold because they want to be able to invest their time into raising their children in the best way possible.
Some moms return to work much later on and some choose not to at all.
Either one is a personal choice and should not be judged by other people in any way.
This doesn’t classify being uneducated.
4. It’s impossible for us to have mom guilt
In actual fact, I sometimes think that we are more susceptible to mom guilt.
I often feel bad when I have something important that I need to get done so I put on the TV so my little one can be distracted for a few minutes.
Or when at the end of the day the dishes are not done and I chose to go to bed because the day has been so hectic.
Or when I snap at my children for the 6th time of the day.
5. SAHM think they are better than working moms
We don’t think that at all.
Choosing to go to work or deciding not to work doesn’t make you the better mom.
In actual fact, we commend you because it’s not an easy choice to make.
At times the bigger sacrifice is to leave your children behind and go to work.
Can you imagine if every mom decided not to go back to work?
There would be chaos everywhere!
Who would do your next smear test?
Or that ultrasound scan because you are uncomfortable with a male scanning you?
Who will show our children that women can do well in the workplace?
Think about it for a moment.
6. All we do is go on playdates every day
I don’t know about you but this would actually be my WORST nightmare.
I’m a bit of an introvert and although I do like to go out sometimes the thought of having to go out on playdates every day would quickly drive me up the wall.
My genetic makeup is not made for that.
Playdates are good every now and again but they are not long-term sustainable for anyone.
Playdates are tiring and usually, you have to have the patience of a saint.
I’m not even going to talk about the mess afterward when you are the one hosting.
7. Some people think we are just moms
– We are moms
– We are nurses
– We are cooks
– We are teachers
– We are counselors
– We are mediators
– We are playmates
– We are cleaners
– We are wives
There is probably a whole more I could add to this too. Mom’s are not just moms.
We are a diverse spectrum of people all rolled into one.
8. We don’t need a break
We get tired, we get so very very tired sometimes.
You see that list of jobs above? It gets tiring.
There are no one-hour lunch break or even toilet break for that matter.
I can never seem to use the toilet alone.
It’s just a full on day of you and your child who wants to talk and discover new ways of learning.
Self-care is so important when you are a mom but even more so when you are a stay at home mom.
You need to make sure that you never grow weary of your motherhood journey.
9. What we are doing isn’t as important as having a real job
There is a very simple answer to this one:
Tell that to the mother whose child is unhappy and withdrawn.
Hear me out here.
I’m not saying for a second that if you choose to go to work that your children will become a depressed individual.
What I am saying is that you have to make sure you put in the time to find out what is going on in your child’s life.
Today things are not as easy for children as they used to be for us.
We didn’t have cyber-bullying or the threat of getting stabbed or shot by anyone.
We could just be children.
It can pose a real fear to some children and we need to make sure that our children have an open space to be able to communicate with us.
You can’t tell me that being a SAHM is not an important role.
10. We love being around children
I love being around my children. Do I love being around them all day every day? Not particularly.
I can’t think of a single person I want to be around all day every single day. Not even my husband.
We all need a break from people sometimes and that includes our children.
Does it mean that I love them any less?
No, but it does mean that I need some time alone sometimes.
I’m sure your children are also lovely but I still wouldn’t want to be around your children all the time either.
Occasionally we need adult time. Usually, for those of us that are stay at home moms, that time comes in the form of bedtime for the children.
A mothers most precious moment.
11. We don’t need our husbands to help
Wrong, wrong, wrong, so wrong!
We need it more than ever because we need 5 minutes to just have a break and collect our own thoughts.
Even to make that simple phone call.
I can’t remember the last time I was able to make a phone call without an interruption in some shape or form.
We need our husbands so we can destress for a few moments.
Even if those few moments involve washing up without anyone tugging at our skirt asking to be picked up.
12. All we do is look after the home
This might surprise you but sometimes we are also self-employed and run a business from home.
Shocking I know!
Although being a stay at home mom might come across to you as being all doom and gloom I can fully assure you it’s not.
I love being able to have the choice to spend quality time with my children.
I love the fact that I get to see my youngest take his first steps and call out mom, mom, mom.
And I love that I get to say I taught my children how to read.
In years to come, I won’t be thinking about how hard it was each day to homeschool or be a stay at home mom.
I will only remember the joyous things we that did together.