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Gentle Sleep Training (No Cry It Out)

Postpartum

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Cry it out method

 

WHY GENTLE SLEEP TRAINING IS REALLY IMPORTANT

Gentle sleep training is becoming more and more widely practiced. Many parents are now steering away from the cry it out method which often left parents feeling uncomfortable.

The cry it out method has been practiced by mothers for years.  For a very long time cry it out was the accepted form for getting a baby to sleep.

Today a lot of parents are now accepting that perhaps leaving a baby to cry it out is not necessarily the best thing to do and are preferring to use gentle sleep training methods instead.

 

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SO WHAT IS CRY IT OUT? 

Cry it out basically means leaving your child to cry until they can cry no more and fall asleep on their own. 

It is a practice which is taught by Richard Ferber allowing babies to cry until they self-soothed and would fall asleep.

I’ll be honest with you cry it out has never sat well with me personally.

When I had my first child people would try to convince me that there was nothing wrong with my son and that I should just leave him to cry himself to sleep.

They tried to convince me that he was just being needy!

 

If getting your baby to sleep is becoming a hair-pulling experience for you then I can highly recommend The Sleep Sense Program! The program is brilliant and really understands the importance of sleep for both you and your baby.  Don’t waste any more time take a look at it here.

 

Personally, I could never leave him to cry on his own and would always make an excuse as to why he needed picking up.

Thankfully that all changed with the more children I had and the more my confidence grew as a mother.  I let go of mom guilt and decided to go with my gut instead.

I am happy to report that I now openly tell people that I don’t support the CIO method.

Watching your child cry until they are blue in the face is no easy task I can tell you that much!

 

Stop baby crying with gentle sleep training

 

I can still remember the countless battles that I had with people who thought I was being too overprotective and would somehow damage my newborn baby by pandering to his every need.  

Looking back now it all seems completely crazy and unjustified but at the time I felt that these people knew more than I did.

Becoming a mother is already a very difficult job at the best of times and can often feel as though you are taking a stab in the dark at being a new parent.  

You are in a highly vulnerable position and having people tell you that you are doing something wrong only highlights that vulnerability even more.

 

Gentle sleep training

 

WHAT IS GENTLE SLEEP TRAINING?

The Gentle sleep training method is whereby you teach your child to fall asleep on their own. 

The reason for it being called gentle is because you obviously choose to do it whichever way you are comfortable with, gently.

A lot of people were not comfortable with the Ferber method which is why gentle sleep training works so well. 

You can use gentle sleep training however you see fit.

If you are happy for your baby to cry for 2 minutes before you pick them up, you can do that.  If you prefer to have no tears at all, you can do that. 

There is no right or wrong way for this to work which is why this is the favored method for a lot of parents.

 

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU ALLOW YOUR BABY TO CRY IT OUT?

Well, aside from the fact that your baby will probably turn many shades of blue and red all at the same time from all the excessive crying it is not good for their emotional makeup either.

Studies have also shown that the cry it out method can actually cause some brain damage in young children even more so if the child was born prematurely as their brains are not fully developed yet.

Babies have a genuine natural need to be comforted when in distress.  

If you allow them to cry it out every time they want to sleep you are denying them the opportunity to understand some of these emotions.

 

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What you have to understand is that your baby has been comfortably growing inside your womb for the past 9 months of its existence.  

It’s every need has been taken care of before he or she is even aware that they have a need.

Sounds have been gentle and soft, even loud bangs are not loud bangs in the womb. Babies live in a perfect temperature and environment without the need to ever feel hungry.  

They have been comfortably growing inside you only to one day be served an eviction notice and be thrust into a world of loud noise and bright colors.

Let that sink in for a moment.

 

Find some great tips on helping your baby to sleep through the night. Sleep training can be a make or break situation for a lot of moms but should you allow your baby to cry it out? Does this method actually work?

 

To be fair if that happened to me right now I would probably cry too.  This is the reason that the cry it out method seems so inhuman to me.  

Surely this is the point at which your baby needs you more than ever? They need you until they can understand this new world of light and sound that they have entered.

Everything is new and they could be suffering from sensory overload.  

Your baby probably wants the one thing that has been consistent to them all along and that is the sound of your voice.  

 

Surely this is not the best time to leave your vulnerable baby to figure it out themselves by leaving them to cry it out in a cold cot?

I agree that having a newborn baby is not the easiest of tasks as it means living on only a few hours of sleep each day but having said that, your baby needs you.

Personally speaking, I would rather have a little bit of sleep deprivation and have a healthy baby.

Babies never stay babies for very long and this beautiful moment will be over before you know it.

 

Gentle sleep training for babies

 

WHAT ALTERNATIVES ARE THERE TO CIO?

Gentle sleep training without cry it out is a much less harsh way to help baby get into a sleeping pattern.  There are different ways to do this.

 

  • You can make sure you have a good bedtime routine which will signal to your baby that its almost time to go to sleep.  Incorporating a bathing routine can help with this.
  • Also having a set bedtime will help to bring around routine,
  • Turning down noise and lights at a certain time will create a wonderful sleep ambiance for baby and perhaps for mama too!

 

Let me know which tips and tricks you use for gentle sleep training.

 

If you are really concerned with your babies sleeping habits you can take a FREE sleep assessment here. Just click the link to get started.

Leave a message in the comments below.

 

Related posts:

 

Gentle sleep training for babies

 

How much do you believe in the cry it out method? Are you all for it or are you anti it? As a new mom I can teach you about the cry it out method and show you why it might not be the best choice for your new baby.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kay says

    Hello Dela,
    I just found your blog and read this excellent description of what a shock it is for a newborn to get their first glimpses of the world after such a long time in darkness and quiet. My youngest daughter is 46 and the cry it out method was current at this time. I regret I listened to this advice. I believe it makes a baby feel abandoned and of course, the brain doesn’t have a way to cope with this feeling yet. Thank you for your sensitive and wise post.

  3. Rose says

    Thank God that gentle sleep training is more and more popular! CIO method should be abandoned totally! I used hold with love method by Susan Urban. No-CIO and worked perfectly! I purchased a guide and started right away. 4 nights and it was done! I would recommend to anyone.

  4. Liz says

    Same for me! Tried different methods but only Susan’s HWL I could finish without feeling like I’m doing something wrong. This method is the best, I recommend to all my friends.

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