The pain of childbirth is the thing that most women fear.
Women have been giving birth for centuries and as time goes on many things have changed in the way that women give birth.
Some women have cesarean births, some natural and some with the help of pain relief during labor.
One thing that unites all these women is the fact that they will experience some level of fear or anticipation because of how they perceive childbirth to be.
Now I’m not saying for a minute that all women feel paralyzing fear when they think about giving birth, that would absolutely not be true!
What I am saying is that at some point during a woman’s pregnancy she wonders about the pain of childbirth that she will endure when giving birth.
Yes, childbirth hurts!
Whether you choose to have the pain during labor or you feel it after a cesarean, the pain is still there.
What I want to do today is to ease your mind somewhat and assure you that although it is painful, it is also manageable.
I have had 4 children and had them all delivered vaginally.
It was not easy that’s for sure but each time I went back and did it again. What does that tell you?
HOW BAD IS THE PAIN OF CHILDBIRTH?
This is a really tricky question because pain is different to each person so it’s difficult to put it down on to paper.
The best way for me to describe it is to compare it to menstrual cramps but times it by 100 then double it!
When you first go into labor the pain is manageable as it’s quite light.
You may feel it in your lower back every now and again.
As your labor progresses the contractions start to gather together and become more intense with seemingly less “gaps”.
Every woman feels the pain differently but personally speaking as my labor progresses I feel intense cramping in my stomach and shooting down to my legs.
Later the pain of childbirth travels to my lower back area.
There isn’t really any other pain that I can absolutely compare it too.
The thing about childbirth pain is that if you try to fight the pain it seems to get worse.
The best thing you can do when in labor is to let the pain ride over you like a wave.
You can pick up a few more tips on how to have a natural birth here
WHAT HAPPENS DURING CHILDBIRTH?
In the first stages of labor, your cervix has to soften and begin to open up.
This has to happen in order for the baby to have a passage to pass through.
A midwife will usually examine you by inserting a finger into your vagina to see how open your cervix is.
If you are less than 3 centimeters dilated, this is classed as the latent phase.
Usually, during this time you will be getting irregular contractions.
As your labor progresses and you get further along past 3 centimeters you go into established labor and your contractions will become more regular.
Eventually, your cervix will open up to 10cm wide.
This is the reason that you feel the pain in your lower back area and sometimes around the front area too.
You may experience the ring of fire once your baby’s head begins to crown.
If you are unsure if you are having real contractions or not you can take a look at this article which also includes a contraction tracker form so you can know if your labor is progressing or not.
WHAT ARE SOME GOOD GOOD LABOR PAIN RELIEF TECHNIQUES?
If you are wanting some natural pain relief options the best advice I can give you is to breathe.
Sounds too simple right? It works!
I’ve lost count of the number of times I hear breathe through your contractions.
I heard what everyone was saying but I never really listened.
In my delivery with my last born, I didn’t have many options for pain relief so I had to take what I could get.
I was told to breathe…at first, I didn’t really care to hear that but as the contractions got stronger I LISTENED!
Each time I felt a contraction coming I took a deep breath in and released it with the contraction, almost like blowing it away.
Do you know what?
It worked (why didn’t I listen earlier?).
It won’t get rid of all the pain altogether but it certainly takes the edge off the feeling of the pressure you get as the baby’s head starts to come down.
TECHNIQUES TO HELP WITH THE PAIN OF CHILDBIRTH
#1 MASSAGE
Let your partner rub your back. It might not help too much in terms of pain relief but it definitely helps you to feel like you are not alone in this.
#2 WATER BIRTH
Get into the water! I can’t recommend this enough.
If you haven’t already read my post on water birthing then you can check it out here: The Benefits of Having A Water Birth
#3 CHANGE POSITIONS
Sometimes a simple thing like changing positions can help.
The worst thing you can do is stay lying down on your back when you are in labor.
It would be similar to trying to poop whilst lying down, it just makes no sense.
#4 CONSERVE YOUR ENERGY
Rest when you can. You will need to reserve as much energy as possible for those last few minutes of pushing.
So take the few minutes between contractions to reserve some energy.
If you are eager to learn more about when to expect pre-delivery up until after the birth of your child then I would highly recommend the online prenatal class from Pulling Curls
The course will teach you everything you need to know about what to expect in those final days before your baby arrives and even after your baby is here.
If you want to take a peek you can do so by clicking here: Pulling Curls Prenatal Care
I just want to finish off by saying, although it can seem scary going into labor, the truth is that most of the fear originates from stories that we have perhaps heard on the grapevine.
In actual fact, the truth about childbirth is that once you go into labor there is a survival instinct that kicks in.
It is this instinct that will take you through your pain of childbirth.
Most of the fear that you feel will actually just be apprehension as to what to expect and not real fear.
Once you hold your little one in your arms that pain of childbirth will be quickly forgotten.
If you are interested in learning more about the different techniques to manage pain and get through the labor experience you should take a look at the post 17 Tips for having a natural birth.
Posts related to the pain of childbirth:
- How to avoid the pain of childbirth and take control
- What to expect during labor: The stuff no one tells you!
- How to avoid the ring of fire during childbirth
Brown Skin Mama says
I’m really glad you like it. Hope all goes well with your delivery!
Olivia says
Thank you so much for this! I KNOW it isn’t going to feel good or anything, but it is so nice to have someone assure me that my body will kick in and I will be able to handle it 🙂
Brown Skin Mama says
Absolutely! You will do just fine. Your instinct will be to protect your baby, therefore, you will be able to handle anything that comes your way. Trust your body. Good luck!
Sara says
Hi Dela, I’m waiting for my second one in one month, and I really reviewed myself on your post, thanks for sharing your experiences. My first birth was completely natural, I also went to the tub (which help a lot!) but at the end I was standing because it was just what by body ask for. I agree with you, at least the worst for me was lying down, moving and changing positions between contractions helped me a lot, and also breathing of course… I think one of the best advices that my midwife gave me was just to listen to my body and accept the pain, don’t fight it, just breathe through it and try to relax as much as possible. With each contraction you are one step closer to meeting your baby, so just accept the pain and listen to your body, afterall we were made for this 🙂 And woman have been doing it since ever without any pain relief. But of course pain relief or not, that’s a personal choice that I never critic. But for me it was just what I felt doing, I was more afraid of not felling enough and not being able to listen to my body. The pain will be there for sure, but it’s not impossible to manage it (for most of the cases). Of course that if you are more than 24h in labor it will make a difference, because you lose your strength…. I was lucky, for me it was only 11 hours. What always motivated me was ‘if my mother did almost 40 years ago twice, without epidural, why can’t I do it?’ In one month I will have my second one and I hope to be able to do it again, let’s see, every birth is different and of course you also need to believe on the professionals around you, if there is any risk for me or the baby I will change my plan immediately. At the end this reminds me of my wedding day, you can plan all the details, but at the end there may be some surprises, you need to accept what you don’t control and enjoy the experience as much as you can, if not you will look upset on the pictures 🙂 All the best for you and your family. Keep posting I will be following 🙂
Brown Skin Mama says
Hi Sara! I completely agree with you. You have to follow your body. If you feel like standing then you stand, if you want to be on your knees then you should but never fight the pain. The pain that you feel is just your body trying to make space for your baby to come out.
Congrats on baby number 2, hope it all goes really well for you!
Kristina says
Hi Dela!
Great article! I am here in the US studying to become a doula!
I was excited to stumble upon your blog and see that you are living in Ghana! I spent my summer in Ghana and loved it! I’m hoping to go back as soon as I can! I sure miss it! I’ve been curious about what labor and birth/birth culture is like in Ghana. Did you give birth in Ghana? What have you found the experience to be like?
Brown Skin Mama says
Hi Kristina!
Yes, I did give birth in Ghana. It was an experience that’s for sure. There is definitely room here for lots more education. Unfortunately, a lot of women who do get pregnant here that are expats tend to travel back to their home country to give birth, which is a shame but understandable.
Personally, I was lucky enough to find a really good midwife here that I felt comfortable enough to give birth. Good midwives are few and far between here so a doula here would be great. The education is definitely needed.
PALESA says
Thanks for this, I’m 8 months now, & expecting my 3rd child, but the fear of labor was over me, this made me to remember that I did it twice already, & I can still do it again.
Lauren says
Great read! Very very helpful, thanks 💕
Naa obieley says
Beautiful piece Dela! Totally loved it. About 2 weeks away from my due date and am totally scared even tho it’s my second. Good to know you are in Ghana. Are there places where you can have a water birth in Ghana?
Brown Skin Mama says
Hi Naa,
Sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. I gave birth at Craddle Care maternity unit in spintex. I was able to have a water birth there. I have a feeling I may have missed your due date though but I hope not!
Congratulations!
Marissa Khosh | MamaRissa.com says
This is a really helpful explanation of what labor is like. And I so appreciate you addressing the conspicuous issue of the fear of childbirth most expectant mamas have at some point.
I planned and had a natural birth with my daughter, but I did worry about how bad the pain would be and how I would handle it wasn’t as unbearable as I thought it was going to be.
As you said, every woman’s experience with childbirth pain is different, but the more you prepare your mind by choosing to believe birth is natural and totally manageable for your body, the better you will feel leading up to and during labor.